This is a sequel to my blog entry, Guy Lines, which is a collection of banat-like lines that guys have, believe it or not, actually used with me. This time however, it’s going to be my lines against theirs.
These are very true and actual conversations. Some from a long time ago (way before all those hirit texts became a favorite for spamming) while some are so very fresh from just last week.
What, you think only they can do that? Watch me.
Guy: Pwede ba kitang dalawin?
Me: Ba’t ka dadalaw. Hindi pa naman ako patay. Isa pa, wala rin akong sakit.
Wasaaakk!
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Guy: Anung number mo?
Me: Bakit, loloadan mo?
Naman.
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Guy: Labas tayo.
Me: Bakit.
Guy: Wala lang. Get together lang.
Me: Ang nagget-together, yung mga close friends. Close ba tayo?
Guy: Hindi yon…labas lang tayo.
Me: Game. Lalabas nako. Labas ka na rin. Ayan nasa labas na tayo. Mainet! Tara pasok na tayo uli.
Ampffft!
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Guy: …kaya pala basta mo na lang ako iniwan.
Me: Excuse me. Wala akong iniiwan. Baka mabagal ka lang. Kung hindi ka makahabol, hindi ko na prublema yon.
Woooh! Yea!
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Guy: Sine tayo! Sige na, samahan moko.
Me: Bakit, wala ka bang friends?
Ayusin kasi.
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Sa gimik: chat…chat…
Guy: so…ilang taon ka na?
Me: Ah, marami na.
Guy: A..a-ako rin e…
Napaisip tuloy.
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Guy: …I hope to see you soon.
Me: You hope.
Guy: Yes I do hope to see you again.
Me: Hope. Hope was all that’s left in the box after all the demons were let loose. Hope is overrated.
Ayun hanggang ngayon baka nagho-hope pa rin.
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Guy: Anung birthday mo?
Me: Bakit, magreregalo ka?
Sports car! Yung red!
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Me: Anung nangyare sayo, bat ganyan itsura mo?
Guy: Wala kasi akong gf. Walang nag aalaga saken.
Me: Gf? Hindi gf ang kailangan mo. Yaya.
O caregiver kaya…?
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Guy: May landline ka?
Me: Meron na e. Ahente ka?
Wireless? Wireless itu?
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Guy: San tayo?
Me: Tayo? Walang tayo.
Joke joke
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Me: What’s for breakfast?
Guy: I’m making pancakes.
Me: I love pancakes with lots of butter and syrup on it.
Guy: Sounds good.
Me: Will you be my pancake?
ooooha. ooooha.Syrupan na!
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Guy: Kamusta. Anung balita?
Me: Wala. Gusto mo gawa tayo ng nagbabagang balita.
Breaking News!
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Guy: Gusto mo ng cake?
Me: Nagbebenta ka na rin ba ngayon? Pati cake?
Totoink totoink!
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Guy: Paramdam ka naman!
Me: Bakit, wala ka bang maramdaman?
Anaesthetized???
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Me: I know the goal of us being friends have been set but sometimes you still manage to make things hazy. You’re over reacting and you don’t have the right. So why don’t we just exercise the lack of rights. Maybe it would help draw the line and set the boundaries of this relationship.
Guy: Relationship? Diba we’re just friends. Bakit ganyan ang sinasabi mo?
Me: Relationship as friends! You know…like mother-daughter relationship? Father-son relationship? Hello?
Duuuuhhh????Dapat kasi pala tagalog na lang.
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Guy: San ka nakatira?
Me: Sa bahay. Ikaw, sa bahay ka rin nakatira diba? Pareho tayo.
Housemate?
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Guy: I know…I’m sorry…(for being stupid)…yaddah..yaddah..yaddah…
Me: It’s okay, don’t say sorry because that’s you. You don’t say sorry for who you are.
(…stupid!)
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similar scenario, different person:
Guy: (saying sorry for saying something stupid) yaddah..yaddah..yaddah…
Me: No, it’s okay, it actually just shows what’s really going on in your head. And maybe that’s just what you really are…
(….no good!)
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Guy: Tulog ka na?
Me: Nope.
Guy: Ah. onga pala, nocturnal ka nga pala. Anung ginagawa mo?
Me: E di kung anong ginagawa ng mga nocturnal.
Dapat kasi natutulog nalang.
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(Take note: Guy is NOT a bf. Not even anywhere near being one.)
Guy: Bat ang sungit mo? Eto naman, naglalambing lang e.
Me: Maglambing ka sa dingding. Ano ka pusa?
Ayan, kase…
yoko pa naman ng pusa.
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And the last but not the least, is my favorite winning line: (it’s actually not mine but my friend Fides’ )
Guy: Nahuhulog na yata ako sayo…
Fides: Ah ganumba. Sorry ha, hindi kita masasalo.
Laglag ka boi!!
